Beastie Boys, Boobies and such

Today is sure to be an interesting one. Took some benadryl last night & seriously passed out a little after 9pm. In an effort to wake up this morning I partook in mello yello & some m&m’s for breakfast. By the way, neither of these mix well with toothpaste. So i’m driving & driving & driving some more and conclude there is NOTHING on the radio and I am beginning to develop a twitch. The twitch is probably because it’s been weeks since I have had any type of caffinated soda in my system. So I hit the cd button expecting to hear my typical stuff & there it is, my son’s mix cd. Didn’t take very long before I realized it’s probably not safe for me to be under the influence of so much sugar while listening to the beastie boys.
Sad part is I don’t think I could have had more fun if you took me to Disney World until the snowflake & I happened upon a very slow Prius in our fast lane. Snowflake & I don’t like anybody driving slow in our fast lane even on a good day. And yes, I said OUR fast lane. My tax dollars paid for that lane and it is mine, I just allow non stupid non slow people to use it when I feel like being nice. It also didn’t help that said Prius had my nemisis football team plastered all over it. I actually had to control myself & reason that if I was to run this tard off the road somebody would see & be able to identify the snowflake with the bullet hole smiley face on the back. I decided to do the polite thing and go around them while making eye contact with them…….because thats a safe alternative ya know?
Anywho, after escaping the stupidity of the Prius my mind started to wander while comtemplating whom I would stirfry in my wok if I still owned a wok. It occurs to me that none of my shoes seem to fit anymore and I seriously wonder if I have lost weight after all. I find this a little irritating because I would much rather have to buy smaller jeans than shoes. When was the last time you were in Walmart & some guy yelled ‘check out the skinny feet on that chick?’. But then again, at least I haven’t lost any weight in my boobies. That seems to be where chicks lose weight first, unless they are fake, then i’m not too sure what happens. Then I begin to ponder about it being breast cancer month, public enemy is now playing in the background, but I digress. How come all of a sudden you can’t find a decent light pink blouse in the misses dept? I know this because I am wearing one I had to go find in the mens dept, because that makes sense?!?!? Then I start thinking about how it irritates me that my football teams will be wearing the hot pink sneekers and gloves and such. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna save the boobies too, because thats one of the few things I do still got going for me, it just seems like with everything else we take it too far. I really don’t have a lot of knowledge in the way of breast cancer, most of the people in my family die from colon cancer, probably because we are all a bunch of a**holes is my guess. We don’t store our anger in our hearts close to our boobies we store it in our butts so we can sit on it.
I have now made to the parking lot & I have no idea how because I sure wasn’t paying attention. The stupid lady with the beanie babies has taken my parking space again. It takes her 10 minutes to get out of her car & thats after parking, I guess she has to kiss each one goodbye or something. I have never actually met this lady but I don’t like her because she keeps taking my parking space. That’s like sitting in my pew at church, i’ll cut you for that.

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