Tax Day at Chili’s

I was sitting at work bored out of mind when my phone rang. Of course I don’t recognize the number but I’m pretty sure it’s a public school by the first 3 numbers. I take a deep breath and answer. It’s my 10 year old saying he fell off the slide on the playground and sprang his wrist. He said it’s okay but it is swelling and he wants to go home. I tell him to call his dad and see if he can come get him and call me back. Big surprise, dad of the year is once again too busy to be a dad for a few moments. I tell Josh I’m on my way and hang up. I let my boss know what’s going on and I leave. I really didn’t want to be at work today but I really didn’t want to leave early to deal with another contusion boy incident either.

I get to the school and have to wait to be let in by the front desk and sign my kid out. We wander thru half the school to retrieve his bike and then attempt to put it in the back of the Jeep. I’m sure it was amusing for those driving by since he had a swollen wrist and I was in an unforgiving skirt and heels. We climb in the front and I look at his wrist, it is pretty swollen and looks painful. I do what any good mom does and I kiss it & put the car in gear.

On the 5 minute drive home I ask Josh what his dad was doing that made him too busy to come pick him up from school. He replies with ‘Said his church friends were coming over to look at a car so he couldn’t leave.’ Hmmm, I guess they wouldn’t have understood him having to leave for a few minutes to pick his kid up from school. I know I probably sound like I’m just being a jerk but he always has an excuse not to help out. Last time Josh was sick he couldn’t go get him because his church friends were over at the house working on this building he is obsessed with. Sad thing is I know the ex well enough to know that he also convinced them to go to lunch with him as well because of the time of day and he also has church that night so it’s not like he couldn’t have just drove said car to church or put it on the back of his new wrecker and hauled it to church for him to see.

We get home and I realize nobody put the garbage out the night before so I go take care of that then notice my tomato plants don’t look so hot and water them. I make my way back in the house and Josh is already making beefaroni in the microwave. I go change into after work clothes figuring maybe I can get something productive done while Josh parks his underwear only clad hiney on the couch and takes over the tv. It then occurs to me that he hasn’t explained how he hurt his wrist; I was only told he hurt it on the playground. He then proceeds to tell me he was climbing up the slide, not the steps but the actual slide and somebody sliding down knocked him off. I gave him the mom look and he grinned and looked down.

I managed to get a little done around the house and on the website before the older clown Sam comes walking in from school. By this time Josh realizes it’s been more than 2 hours since hes ate and remembers that maybe I kinda sorta probably maybe possibly mentioned going to Chilli’s the night before. After all, they sent me a coupon via email for a free dessert or appetizer because it was tax day. Not exactly sure the premise here, maybe a one last screw you to the gov’ment before they cash your tax check, who knows.

In any case, I was certainly not very motivated to make dinner and Josh’s boo boo wrist seemed just fine, it’s still early enough so why not. We get ready and head on over to the closest Chili’s to us and manage to get there before 5pm. I feel old for eating dinner so early but hey I don’t have 2 hours to wait for somebody to bring me ketchup like last time.

The girl parks us in the back in a booth away from everybody else and I figure they just remember us from the last time. Shortly after arriving, she also parks a rather large man behind Josh and I and he flops down behind us. I say FLOP because he actually moved us both sitting down. This seems to happen to me quite a bit when I go out and have to wonder why I never ask for a table with regular chairs.

So we ordered our appetizer, abusing the system for what it was by ordering the pick 2 which already came with an appetizer and ordered a third meal, reserving our free coupon for dessert. We are already done with our appetizer split 3 ways when Mr. Flops family shows up at which time both of his hyper little children flop onto the seat next to him. Of course they continue to flop around while ordering their food and taking turns going to the bathroom with mom. It was a lot like a ride down a bumpy road in a car with no shocks to be honest.

So Miss Waitress brings us our food and we dig in trying to ignore the Mr. Toads wild ride behind us and make the best of it. They place their order of 4 different appetizers and she walks away. In the meantime we can overhear the Flop family conversation and randomly reply among ourselves to Mr. Flops questions while one of his darling children is jumping on the seat.

Miss. Waitress comes back with their grub and asks if we need anything. I go ahead and order our dessert with coupon in hand since we are almost done. Josh gets excited not realizing the ninja stunt I have pulled getting appetizers and a dessert and maybe he got just a little excited. We are sitting there finishing up our food when all of a sudden Mr. Flop turns around and asks Josh to stop bouncing his leg because it’s bothering him. Are you ^&^%$%#$@$!@$##%^%&^%&%$ KIDDING ME?????????