So earlier this week the kiddos and myself were sitting around the man cave watching tv together. Since Christmas this doesn’t happen too often, so I was happy to have the down time with my babies. In between the laughter we are talking about the days events, what happened at school and such. Then it happens, Josh asks a question, the mother of all questions. I’m not even sure I can type said question but now after it’s said and done it really is too funny not to share. Out of no where my baby, my 10 year old angel asks ‘Hey mom, what’s a dildo?’
Thinking that maybe I didn’t hear him correctly I just sit there non respondent. Sam my 16 year old busts out laughing and goes ‘yeah mom, tell him what it is.’ I cut him THE LOOK, and then ask Josh what did you say and without batting an eye he repeats it. I know I am not getting out of this and I have to provide some kind of answer. I don’t typically lie to my kids because you really shouldn’t and they always bust me. I try to think of the best possible ‘G’ rated answer I can give him, in the meantime I now have 2 boys looking at me waiting for an answer, the older one with tears in his eyes.
‘Well it’s something grownups use when they are being dirty.’ There, not too much information so I won’t get a phone call tomorrow from the school when he repeats his new found knowledge and I answered his question honestly……sort of. Josh was processing the answer and at this point I think this is the end of said subject. Then that darn teenager opens his big trap and says ‘Yeah if you want to see what one looks like I bet mom has a bunch in her underwear drawer.’
My jaw hit the floor and so did his butt as I swiftly kicked him off the couch.